how can someone do this?!? and yes its richard i havents talked to him in a few weeks already because he going out with someone n when he doesnt he doesnt even bother to talk to me but when he single im the ONE who gives him confort so anyways i was on myspace n since it was junior prom he told me he wasnt gonna go because he thought it was bull n he was just gonna go to the senior one well apparently he did go n with his gurl i aint gonna sit her n say im jealous im not but its funny how they been going out for wut a month? n he think she gonna be there for him forever well anyways i saw them pictures on her page n i just broke down crying i do miss that boi but i cant stand they way he treats me well anyways it just hurts deep inside maybe becaus i aint got a man n yeah it is depressing cause i feel like im left out n i aint got nobody to watch out for me

i havent been here in a minute well anyways ummm dorron of course lets talk about him he came back from new orleans which now i can say that i am happy but before it was horrible well let me make it short n sweet he went out wit my ex good friend kelly wuteva the fuck happened with her anyways he came out here on friday night or wait was it sat? well anyways he came down n he brought me the cd one thing led to another we kissed and of course i got all the feelings back yes i know im stupid but i feel like my heart still belongs to him anyways since we kissed i feel like i wanna be with him again n shit n ive been calling him everyday so far n idk if its good or bad i feel like i should still b mad at him n not talk to him am i right? well yea thats about it im gonna go now i hope he gonna take me back cause i believe like it can work if we BOTH try hard enough oh oh almost forgot his mom is leaving town and going traveling for the job for a month i think in july or something so basically he got the whole entire house to himself i just cant wait to come there i missed him house and just the confort of being around him feel me? well imma go 1

yestreday something happened and i dont really feel like rewriting everything so here is a letter that i wrote my gff explaining what happened cause i aint talk to her in school today at all i wasnt in the mood from that letter u probably gonna put the whole story together ::tear::

Hi Chris Chris listen, you don't need to apologize for nothing, I understand you are busy. Sorry about today that I ignored you and didn't want to talk, I really didn't talk to anybody today cause of what happened yesterday. Yesterday (Tuesday) when you told me you were going to do weed I was really upset with you I just wanted to cry right there in front of you, and also when you said Dorron was going to do it with you, which made me even more sad. I seriously don't want to see nobody get hurt from my friends and that includes you with Dorron, even thought he don't give a damn about what I say. Yesterday  when I got online around 5 I aimed him saying I don't want him doing it and then he asked me how I heard bout it that he was going to come down and do it, I said I got ears. I kept on telling him I really don't want him doing it and don't want to see him get hurt and shit, but he didn't care. All he said was "That's none of your business" and "You can't do anything about it". So that made me really sad hearing that he was acting like he didn't care. Then I was asking him why he acting like an ass and I guess that really made him mad and then the whole entire deal was over between me and him he made me cry so much yesterday that I felt like I didn't belong in this world at all. He said he doesn't want to be friends with me anymore and that's over, period. Also the real reason he broke up with me he said is because I wanted too much attention from him and he got really annoyed with it, and it always was have to be about me. He is right though, I always want the attention on me that's because I guess I don't have any sisters or brothers and I'm also guessing because I was raised differently and I have a step dad that I don't like and don't get enough attention in the family. I don't know what to do with my self anymore, Christine. I tried calling him but he wouldn't pick up so I called Terrell cause he the only one who could help so he called him and they talked for awhile and he calls me back saying he tried but he doesn't want to be friends, he said he doesn't want to hear from again and that just the end of it. He blocked me on AIM and deleted me from myspace. So I seriously don't know what to do, everyone who I meet tells me all these things that are wrong with me and I just don't know what to do, sometimes I feel like I don't belong here at all maybe I should be living somewhere else, you know? It just so heartbreaking you have no idea. When he was talking to me like that it felt like he was Richard #2, but I kept myself from believing that, also he talked about him too saying that I'm acting like I acted around Richard when I guess I wanted him back, who knows. That's about it. I guess I'm just going to keep quiet and not bother him but it's going to be really hard cause all I wanted from him is just to see him before he was going to leave and invite him for my birthday but I guess all my wishes are going down the drain. I feel like freaking dying, cause nobody is like me in this world, I'm so different from everyone that it just really hard to find the ONE, or just a friend who is there to listen, and predict what will happen. Every night and day in school is just about everywhere I go I just think about him and wish he would be right next to me smile and say everything will be fine. So I guess I'm going to finish writing because I have a lot of tears in my eyes right now, just writing this. If you want you can write back if not I'll understand.

                                                                  
                                                                   Your friend,

                                                                             Galina…….

okaii well dorron gonna be leaving for new orleans in jan i dunno when though all i know is that imma miss him so so so much i just dont have enough words for it and also since we broke up its like he completely forgot bout me which brings me to tears i KNOW for a fact that he be hanging out wit other friends of his and i keep on blaming it all on myself saying its my fault i aint got my license yet n shit n it just makes me sick to my stomach! so yea! also i noticed he took me off on his top 8 ppl on myspace which i knew it was over that he didnt care bout me just tiny lil bit.....imma miss him so much i just wish he would have some time for me too shit just talking bout this makes me wanna cry.....well that basically it christmas is gonna be soon n i need to go shoppin for a present for him n his b-day n i hope he gonna come down here......also i hope he HOPEFULLY gonna call on my birthday atleast n just come down here n wish me to have a good birthday......im so heartbroken on tuesday it was one month since he broke up with me and i still CANT get over him it driving me crazy......

listen up yo!!! on wed we had a half day so we dont do shit in gym class cause they fixing up the gyms so i took a gym class with a teacher that i had last year but she got a student teacher....so that bitch was looking for me cause i left that class like 15 minutes before it ended....n went to chill wit mrs. williams so anyways as the day goes by i sit in algebra class n the teacher gets a phone call n he tells me i gotta go to the attandance office so i got there n its freaking mr. socola!!! n he read the report mrs. cawl wrote on me n he like wut the deal? im like i went to my locker n without even lookin he was like "two saturdays" and damn i got so pissed i went to mrs. williams to cry so she told me to go to mrs. cawl and tell her wut happened.....so i went to her n i started talking to her n she like i couldnt believe when the student teacher came up to her n told her wut i did n then she told me she thinks i should appologize to the student teacher so i was like okaii n she called her our n all of them 2 were standing so i looked down n i said i was srry for walking out like this n she like "i understand but i told u i was gonna let u leave class earlier to her to ur locker" n then we kinda finished the conversation n i went off n she told me to have a happy thanksgiving YEA RIGHT stupid bitch!!!! so i still dont know wut i should tell my parents bout it im scared....n its like i woke up this morning thinking bout the damn detention u know....ugh!

anyways let me talk bout something happy....
that day dorron came down to pick me and chris chris up n we went to the her house n stayed there till like 4:20.....me n dorron ordered pizza but i payed cause he aint had no money n now u can say im kinda broke all i got is $9 and gave out $16....im not that mad but it just that i've been saving it so i could by a christmas and a birthday present for him and i did lay my eyes on some things and he wouldve liked it.....so yea...i dunno now he said he was gonna pay back but its wuteva i guess i just gotta start resaving the money again.....so yea...oh wait okaii so we ate pizza n then chris chris was on da phone and me n dorron kept on making out behined every corner n then we went to the kitchen n i couldnt take it anymore so he just fucked me from the back damn it felt soo good cause i was so freaking wet!!! so then we stopped and we told chris chris we were gonna go downstairs "on the computer" not lol so we went on the couch n he fucked me again n damn u know wut!!! he had a condom on him lol he lil prediction guy lol.....so anyways i wished i could just take all my clothes off n just ride him like i rode him in his car....i miss that boii but we only friends with benefits but to tell u the truth i kinda feel like i am still dating him cause i act the same around him sometime n its like when im with him i feel so clothes to him n feel like he belongs to me n only me n its like we were watching the r.kelly videos n he put his arm around me n was playing wit my hand i fel like i was his gurl all over again u know but still im trynna not get attached i mean im happy with wut i get from him but....when he gonna start dating somebody i dont think ill forgive myself but anyways.....enough of that so yea that was bout it n well today is thanksgiving n he went over his dads house in brooklyn n he gonna be back tomorrow n HOPEFULLY he gonna come down here n chill wit me cause i really really want him lol....n ummm on sat. angelique's dad invited me to go over his place so im looking forward to that cause i think imma be sleepin over

well thats bout it so mwah i think imma go to bed im real tired right now

my mom just got an e mail from one of her friends all the way back from israel him and her used to go to college n my mom sent him a letter all the way back in august n she got a reply from his sister saying he dies in april cause he was killed in the army i guess he was surving for israel so i dont know wut to do im just letting my mom do her i mean i tried conferting her but now she went out on the porch n probably talking to somebody she really in tears well imma go now the bathroom is fludded i gotta clean that up and then do my homework

...have a moment of silence...

P.S. i'll always love u 11.13.05 yes dorron broke up with me but ill come on here later cause im not in the mood right now cause of my mom

its true no lie....its so stressful at times that all i wanna do is sit n cry.......sometimes ill call my babi up n he aint gonna pick up the phone cause he be playing playstation n when he does pick up its like im talking to myself....like today i been trynna call him all day n then i say forget this im just gonna wait till he gonna call but i cant not to call again so chris chris asked him online why he aint picking up and he said he just got home so when i was done talkin to her i called him up and guess what he was doing playing the damn playstation n couldnt even talk to me so it got so frustrating that i told him ill talk to him later and when i hung up i just started crying....n it makes things worse when im on my period cause when i get mad at him like that n he wont know i feel like calling him and saying im breaking up with him cause it too stressfull but somethings holding me back n then when u look back its like breaking up over a playstation come on u gotta be on da real....so yea thats bout it no wait yestreday his mom left n i thought me n him were gonna chill but nah he went out n i dont really wanna spend time during the week cause imma be madd tired n then imma be having an AM class like starting on thursday....all i do is keep my feelings inside n dont let him know how i really feel n if i would he probably would get mad....

i havent been here forever n some drama was going on for the past week or so........
o o before i start talking me n my babis 3 months anniv. is on THANKSGIVING how hot is that lol

anyways.....
my mom discovered bout my babi a.k.a watermelon lips that was some crazy shit i cant even believe it up to this day therefor she lost the trust in me n now she dont really trust me when i go out....one day when i went to school she went through my stuff n then called me up n started questioning me bout the pic she found of me n him n i aint even know wut to say....so she just said she had to go then i started to panic n started crying n called up my babi he aint know wut to do the thing that i was scared is that i aint know if she told dad but when he came home he aint know nothing so i called my mom up n asked her not to tell all she said when she'll get home we'll talk so anyways in result she kept it between the two of us. umm i think maybe a day later she went on my myspace n looked at the pg which had some stuff bout dorron....etc. so yea i think the deal is done as far as that goes

now this week richard been bothering this shit outta me i was talkin to marvin in bio while colorin some shit n then we started talkin bout rich n i said i heard ppl talk bout him saying he smells so then that day this one bitch went over marvins house n all them talking n she brough that topin n marvin said he knows somebody who said the same thing n rich started asking him n he said my name so then he started calling my house n i kept on hanging up on him cause i kept my word when i promised my babi i wasnt gonna talk to him n also at that point i was talking to my boo lol so yea then he stopped calling n then somebody rang my doorbell n i got scared cause aint nobody coming around here so i told my babi to hold on n then i open the door n its him!!!! RICHARD!!! i told my babi i was gonna call him back n he asked me who it was but i aint tell him the first time n then asked him if he wanted to talk to him so i gave the phone to rich n he just hung up on him n then out of nowhere he walks into my house starts yelling n screaming at me saying all this shit like it was my fault i spread the rumer ya know n all i kept on saying is get out of my house so ya....but he wouldnt leave n he kept on pointing fingers at me n i tried to get it away but he kept on pulling my arm away n hurting me n then towards the end he popped my chin real hard n threw my kitchen chair on the floor n left while he was walking away i called up my babi n i was just in tears n shaking at the same time n my babi was bout to come out here yo he like where is her where he live his ass was in the car ALREADY!!! damn but i told him to leave it n marvins brother drove him to my house by the way so that night i called him mom n told her wut happened n now he on punishment n then on thur n fri he been bothering me so over the weekend i told his mom n i was like i dont know wut to do anymore n she like me niether n i felt so bad cause she trynna so hard to raise her kids right but rich aint respecting her....so yea thats all he lucky i aint turn his ass in ya know

ummm......on friday night me n dorron went out to christines dad's house damn when we walked in the smoke was up in the air it stank so we chilled there for awhile n then i took him out to eat to white castle n then u wont believe wut happened when we got back to scotch plains he had gas problem!!!! haha damn that was craccing me up haha but that day it was too quite i dunno i thought something was bothering him but he said it nothing but then before i was leaving thats when he started doing the action lol n guess wut he came!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol thats a 2nd ::claps:: lol

im DONE its sooo long but that wut happens when i dont write on here

as it turns out i havent been on here forever

so much shit happened today its not even funny

1. rich touched my baloon lol no big deal but he got me mad cause yestreday i saw him when i was walking up to my 3rd period class he pushed me to get my attention since i been ignoring him forever so anyways so before school started i just blasted out yo all them ppl be standing out there n just chilling lol so i stood up n n was like "bitch dont touch me nomore im sick of u!!!" n did that chin shit like smacking and all them bois oooooooooooooooo lol ugh he got me pissed
2. my babi came out here to the school n we were thinking bout going n working out well i was lol but there were too many ppl n all guys n i would be the only gurl lol how fun so i gave him a tour around the high o lets not forget i FINALLY introduced him to mrs. williams lol when he walked in im like dis mrs. william so they shook hands n then she told him to sit down in the chair n im like screaming out loud "mom talk!!" lol so she started questions him cause they bonded cause he was at the new orleans n mrs. williams from lousiana n blah blah lol so they bonded n she really liked him n how funny is this she said he got her permission lol awwwwww
3. when i got home i got the progress report n i aint know it cause they changed the nevelops so my dad opened it n damn that nigga mah biology teacher put down i aint doing shit in his class how the fuck he gonna say that when i got a fucking b in his class ugh imma punch him one day!!! i got enough of him already!!!
4. when i got back from chilling wit my babi i went online like an hour later n rich aimed me calling me a dumb bitch n saying all that shit that i did today n told my babi to come out there ugh he just keep on running his mouth so i told dorron n he told me to block him so i did n then we were talking n he like if u start shit u gotta finish it cause he aint wanna come inbetween im like wtf aint he supposed to my bf n protect me nahmean? it kinda got me off truck u know.....so yea.....i hope rich aint gonna come between me n him cause then me n him gonna be on some real shit foreal
4. hmm let me tell u karon started talking to me but i dunno for how long that gonna last lol well thats bout it

tonight me n my babi gonna go out but the thing is we gonna stay in a car lol cause him moms came back from the vacation n his cousins n etc still sleeping over his house n he dont know when they gonna be leaving yet which sucks i dunno wut to do n by the time we actually go out all them res. be closed which sucks we never got to celebrate our 1 month anniv. cause we broke up 3 or 4 days before but yea n i dont really know when the 2 month anniv. gonna come probably pretty soon i just wish my dad would let me get out of the house with BLACK ppl i mean he the only one who is holding me back n making me act different which is what i hate bout him so yea....he was planning on going to israel to visit his daughter cause she just had another babi n i hope that gonna go soon but the thing that is holding him back is the money cause we kinda broke iaint gonna say broke broke u know but we well my n my moms been going to the dentists im done with my feelings n my moms is done too i think so now we kinda pay back all the loans we took from my uncle as i understand so umm yea....i think that would be bout it oh wait noooo tomorrow dorron n i gonna go over angelique house omg omg omg omg OMG lol im like so excited so tomorrow imma clean n try finish it early at bout 2 or 3 gonna go to the bluestar cause i seriously need to do some shopping n then around 6 or 7 we gonna go over angeliques cant wait

well aight im done lol its kinda a long blog so imma go now n hopefully im still gonna come on here

kisses

Galina

at this point in life everything is going down including the education me n dorron broke up he dumped me like 3 days ago i cheated on him n i came out straight telling him that too n in the car he said he was gonna take me backn i was calling him for the past two days n he aint pick up the phone so i thought he mad at me n we aint together so yestreday i got to talk to him online n was like just to make sure we aint going out nomore n he like yea isnt it ovbious i was like omg n went to my room crying i called up christine n she gave me a shoulder he did me dirty n idk wut to do now n today in school its like WHOA i got TWO FUCKINGte DETENTIONS i couldnt concentrate on anything i got one for being late to school n one for being late to biology class i was talking back to that teacher dick head so idk wut he gonna do he said he was give it to the main guy who gives out detention oh n also this moring i was talking back to that guy he like why u late n i said cause i left the house late which is bull n then he like maybe cause i woke up late n he just pissed me off so i was like "NO I DIDNT!!!! DAMN" so yea after the fight wit the biology teacher i wanted to cry so bad cause i started thinking bout dorron how he told me school comes first and in mah heart i was just talking n thinking saying well if school comes first i cant concentrate on shit when im mad n this drama is going on between me n him n damn at that point the tears started rolling down!!!! so yea thats all imma go now "do my homework" so yea hopefully everything gonna turn out to be okaii......

oh guess wut on sat of next week i might go to six flags the school gonna take us but i dunno yet gotta find out if angelique wants to go n its ONLY $30.....anybody wanna go? i can bring ppl outta school too.....